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User blog:Kuzuri/Kaeden's survivor story 1
"Welcome to Survivor: Your moms house!" yelled Jeff. "Woohoo! Yay! OMG!" yelled the 8 players. They jumped out of the boat and stepped on the mat. There was a bald man named "Billy", a very tough redneck. A former Russian communist named "Joseph Stalin", a very serious man (if you vote him out you will taste some shotgun lead). A young man with long blonde hair named "Applejack", was a very dumb and mischievous boy. An over weighted man, about 9 years old (XD) named "Yomama", was a very jolly ginger for his age. Now for the girls. A young curly hair blonde named "Amy", was suffering hygiene issues. An old grey haired lady who couldn't even speak named "Jillian", was a surprisingly very mysterious strategist. A young woman wearing a full Minecraft creeper costume named "Sally", was a HUGE Minecraft geek who had no physical ability at all. And last but not least Parvati Shallow (everyone knows her clearly) stepped onto the mat ready to go. "Are you guys ready to go on the adventure of a lifetime?!" asked Jeff. No one replied. "Guys?" asked Jeff. "Aint nobody got time for this!" yelled Yomama. "What are you saying Yomama?" asked Jeff. "Go to hell Jeff! I have had quite enough of this game!" screamed Yomama. "You have been here for 56 seconds." said Jeff. "Good bye cruel world!" yelled Yomama. He grabbed Jeff's pistol and blew his own brains out all over his tribe's mat. "Slaves, get the body out of here, we have a show to get on with!" yelled Jeff. The producers dragged the body down the beach... and chucked it in the paper shredder. "Are you guys ready for todays challenge?!" asked Jeff. "Hell yes!" yelled everyone. "For todays challenge, you will be given guns and shoot each other to death!" "Please no!!" yelled Amy. Sadly Amy's hygiene made Parvati choke on the air and die. "Well at least the teams are even now." said Billy. "True, true, very true." mumbled everyone. "For todays challenge you will push each other off a platform into mud using a spiky pad. First team to get 3 points wins immunity and is safe for tonights vote." The setting was boys vs girls for tribes. "First up we have Billy for the boys vs Jillian for the girls, survivors ready, GO!" Billy ran as fast as he could and knocked Jillian of the platform into the mud. "Boys lead 1, to zip! Next up we have Sally vs Applejack, Survivors ready, GO!" Applejack hit Sally really hard but Sally did not fall off of the platform. Sally got of with her diamond pickaxe and smashed Applejack in the face and he fell off of the platform. "We are tied 1-1! Next up we have Joseph Stalin vs Amy! Survivors ready, GO!" Joseph got way to close to Amy for comfort and passed out due to lack of air (because of her breath), joseph fell down unconscious and was pushed of the platform by Amy. "Girls lead 2-1! Next up we have a rematch, Billy vs Jillian, survivors ready, GO!!!" Billy ran at Jillian and was kicked in the balls and pushed off the platform. "Girls, win immunity!" "YAY!!!!!!!!!!!" "But this season their is a little twist... for tribal council if you are voted out you will be executed by being thrown off of the lava crane! It is a crane that was built right over top off a giant pit of lava, we have built a switch that makes it fall down and right back up. If you fall down you will die a slow and a most painful death. It is time to vote, right now (fast forward to everyone already voted). Okay, once the votes are read, the decision is final, person voted out will be killed by the lava crane, I will read the votes. First vote, Joseph Stalin, second vote, Applejack, first person voted out of Survivor: Your moms house is, Applejack. "Applejack, get your butt on that frickin crane right this instant." said Jeff. Applejack was forced onto the top of the lava crane, tied to the metal, and they pulled the switch and he was brought down into the lava. He was kept down in the lava for 2 minutes. They brought him back up and he was completely burnt to a crisp. "Okay, for todays challenge, you will hang over a pool of acid by a leather strap attached to the roof. When you fall in you are eliminated from the challenge, and life. Survivors ready, GO!!!" automatically Jillian fell in and immediately only her skeleton remained. That left 4 people hanging from the roof. Billy was slipping very slowly. "Oh my god!!" screamed Billy. "Im gonna sli..." Billy couldn't finish his sentence before he fell into the pool of acid. "Only 3 of you are left..." said Jeff. Elapsed time: 3 hours. "OH SCREW THIS!" joseph got sick of hanging up their for 3 hours and pulled out his tommy gun and shot Amy and her hygiene down into the acid pool. "Joseph and Sally win immunity!" yelled Jeff. The producers quickly drained the acid pool and the 2 survivors jumped down. "Joseph and Sally, it is time to plead your case to the jury... I mean, there is no jury. So the Call of duty island will come into play. Right now, we will give you both guns and you will shoot each other to death." Jeff handed them both potato guns. "Survivors ready, GO!!!" Joseph was shot about 12 times in the leg and took cover behind a pile of bricks. He quickly called in an airstrike and a blackbird quickly blew Sally off the face of the earth. "And the winner of Survivor: your moms house, JOSEPH STALIN!!!!!!" screamed Jeff. Congratz Joseph, you have received the most jury votes!" Joseph walked out with a million dollars and not a free trip to the lava crane. Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts